(thunder crashing) ♪ One day the devil came to him ♪ ♪ For he was a minor demon ♪ Asked him to torture some humans ♪ ♪ With his two friends in tow ♪ Mittens and El Sapo ♪ The Baron Mondo Von Doren ♪ On Nightmare Theatre - Let me try to explain it again.

See Raj, Rerun, and Dwayne wanted to go see a band called The Doobie Brothers, but they couldn't get tickets, so this guy named Al Dunbar tells Rerun he can get tickets if Rerun agrees to a illegally tape the show.

No, no, no, listen to me.

It was illegal.

You could've gone to jail for life for taping a concert back then.

It might even have been a federal offense.

Well, anyway, Rerun got caught, and here's how, no wait, I don't wanna spoil it for you.

We'll watch it later, oh, we're on.

Hello again and welcome to Nightmare Theatre.

I am, as always, your host, The Baron Mondo Von Doren, and I'm here with Mittens the Werewolf, discussing the funniest TV show of all time, as we wait for El Sapo to arrive with tonight's movie.

I'm not sure where he could be right now, but-- - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

I'm here, boys.

Man, it has been a day, I tell you what, man.

I felt like I've been up for three or four hours straight.

- Wow, don't push yourself now.

- It's all right, I'm used to very long days, though.

- I bet.

Say, since you were up working so hard for so long, I'm guessing you found us a great movie for tonight.

- Dang it!

When that goat kicked me in the head, I guess I forgot all about getting a movie.

- Why did a goat, you know what, I don't wanna know.

Do you have a movie or not?

- I do not, but after I got kicked, I got disoriented and I wandered into a cornfield and I found this stuffed between the ears of corn in some basket.

Now, the farmer, he must've thought I was stealing corn because he fired a few shots at me, but luckily I escaped.

- It's a shame that farmer wasn't a better shot.

- Yeah, it is.

Can you show this while I run and get a film.

I think I saw one down in the sub-sub-sub-vault.

- Sure, whatever.

Here we go.

"Radar Men From the Moon."

Like a case of athlete's foot, it just won't go away.

Well, folks, unless you just wanted to gawk at me and Mittens for about 13 minutes, which might be preferable at this point, here's another chapter.

So sit back and relax, as Commando Cody flies around the moon or something.

(dramatic orchestral music) (dramatic orchestral music) (guns firing) - Forget him, get the rocket.

It's almost down.

(gun firing) - Now what?

- We gotta get Cody first.

give a blast.

- I can't get at him behind that rock.

- Then hit the cliff above him and bring it down on him.

(explosion booming) - Did that get him?

- I can't tell, but we missed the rocket.

It's already landed on the other side of the hill.

- Maybe we can blast them before they get a chance to unload.

- No, there'll be too many guards there.

We might lose the ray gun.

We'd better pull out of here.

(dramatic orchestral music) (dramatic orchestral music) - This is serious.

And Cody did escape, I heard the announcement over the radio.

I must report to the moon.

Krog calling Retik.

Krog calling Retik.

- Come in, Krog.

- I have very bad news, your excellency.

Commando Cody has upset our plans for destroying the rocket ship and the lunarium has been landed.

- This is intolerable.

If the Earth people use that lunarium to build ray guns, they will be able to repel our invasion.

- [Krog] I realize that, but I did my best.

- Your best is not good enough!

I'm going to fly down to Earth at once and take charge of operations myself.

- I will welcome your help.

- Apparently you need it.

In the meantime, have your men go after Commando Cody and any other key personnel they can reach.

We must delay the completion of any ray guns on Earth until my invasion fleet is ready.

- Yes, your excellency.

Cody and his assistants must be destroyed.

- The lunarium arrived safety at the government atomic laboratory, and they've already started converting it into a compound suitable for use in the ray gun.

- How long will that take?

- Some time, I'm afraid.

The element's entirely new to our scientists and they'll have to build considerable equipment to handle it.

- I hope they can get it ready before the moon men attack.

- You have any idea when the invasion may be expected?

- No, the moon ruler told me himself he was planning the attack but he didn't say when.

- The time element is vital.

Let's go over in detail what happened on your trip to the moon and perhaps we can find some clue to when they plan to strike.

- All right.

Well our passage to space was uneventful.

The rocket ship functioned perfectly.

When we reached the moon I decided to go on a scouting trip.

(suspenseful orchestral music) - Welcome, Commando Cody.

I am Retik, ruler of the moon.

- Apparently you were expecting me.

- of course, for many years our radio has kept us informed of events on Earth and my men there have advised me of your every move.

- [Cody] I see you have adopted our language.

- Yes, all our people are required to speak English so we can operate more efficiently in your country.

- Do you mind telling me why your men are carrying out that campaign of destruction on Earth?

- Not at all.

They are merely softening up your defenses for our impending invasion.

- [Cody] Why do you want to invade the Earth?

- Because the atmosphere on the moon has become so thin and dry it is impossible for us to raise food except in pressurized greenhouses, and none of us can move outside without helmets so we are planning a mass migration to your world.

- You will find that conquering the Earth isn't so simple.

- Ah, but it will be because of our atomic weapons.

On the moon we have an element, lunarium, which is far superior to uranium as a base for atomic reactions and we can completely control the force of these reactions, enabling us to build atomic weapons ranging from huge cannon to these small ray pistols.

- it's very considerate of you to give me all this information.

- You deserve some reward for your long journey but unfortunately I cannot permit you to return to Earth with it.

- Maybe I have something to say about that.

(magnet humming) - So much for the effectiveness of your weapons.

Now I will demonstrate one of ours.

(suspenseful orchestral music) (explosion booming) Seize him!

(explosion booming) - We decided we would need a ray gun if we were to attack the city so the next day, Ted and I went back and turned nitrous oxide into the ventilating system.

When Retik and his guard became unconscious, Ted waited while I went in and got the ray gun but before we could-- (dramatic orchestral music) They're still after us, let's go.

- [Ted] That looks like a cave.

Let's get in there.

- [Man] We can't follow them in there.

Set the ray gun at constant heat.

We'll melt that cliff and bury them alive.

- [Man] Right.

(gun warbling) - [Ted] What's that?

- [Cody] They've turned the ray gun onto the side of the cave and it's melting the rock.

Let's get back as far as we can.

Nevermind the gun.

(gun warbling) Maybe we can get out along that side.

- [Ted] But what about that tank?

- We may be able to take care of it.

Let's try this way.

I hated to lose that ray gun but it would only have been good for a few shots without another charge of lunarium.

- And now that we have the lunarium, we can build our own ray guns and pistols.

- Yes, we brought back one of their ray pistols.

- [Henderson] Looks fairly simple.

- [Cody] Yes.

Would you like me to take it apart to show you how it works?

- [Henderson] Please.

- There's the intake for the air conditioning system.

Put the hose in and turn the gas on.

(gas hissing) Find a spot where we can watch the window in case anyone tries to get out.

- We must start manufacturing these weapons at once.

- Wouldn't it be better to save the lunarium for bigger guns?

They're what we'll need to stop an invasion by rocket ships.

- Excuse me but isn't it getting awfully stuffy in here?

- I'll open a window.

(suspenseful orchestral music) (gun firing) (suspenseful orchestral music) - You better get her out of here, Mr. Henderson.

- It won't open.

(dramatic orchestral music) - Hello and welcome back.

"Radar Men from the Moon."

It just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it, folks?

My only complaint is that there are only 12 chapters.

In a perfect world, there would be an endless supply of them.

Again, I'm not sure where El Sapo could be.

Maybe something horrible happened to him.

I mean, we can hope so anyway, until-- - Hey, guys, here I am, boss.

- No such luck, folks.

He's here.

- You know what?

I may have found us a good movie if the title is any indicator.

- I doubt it, but let's see what you have there.

- Oh, man.

"Monster from a Prehistoric Planet"?

- It's a good one, isn't it, boss?

- No, not at all!

The film, man, this film was released in 1967 by Nikkatsu International.

It was their one and only kaiju film.

- So they hit perfection on their first try and retired to everlasting glory!

- No.

- So, they learned their lesson and gave up?

- Bingo.

To make matters worse, because the original is Japanese, this film is very poorly dubbed into English.

- I've been poorly dubbed myself before.

Some of them are not bad, but this at least has an original idea, right?

- Well, about that.

This film came out in 1967.

In 1961, there was a British film called "Gorgo."

Appropriately enough, it was about a monster named Gorgo who was captured and brought to London to be placed in a zoo.

His mother, known as Agra, came looking for him, and destroyed a good bit of London in the process.

Keep that in mind as you watch this film.

Sometimes recycling is good.

Like when I give El Sapo recycled meat for dinner.

And sometimes it's not.

I won't say anymore right now because I don't wanna spoil the film for you.

However, if you've seen "Gorgo"-- - And I haven't.

- Good.

At least it will seem new to you then.

So sit back and relax as we present "Monster From a Prehistoric Planet" here on Nightmare Theatre.

(suspenseful orchestral music) (somber orchestral music) (volcano rumbling) (menacing orchestral music) (pleasant orchestral music) (glass clinking) - George.

(groaning) (radio beeping) - Huh?

- Miss Koyanagi, we'll be at the Catherine Islands tomorrow.

- Really?

Oh, that's wonderful!

I'll go out of my mind if I have to stay in this boat any longer.

- I like the publisher's idea, but I didn't expect to be exiled like this.

- Kurosaki, a cable from the publisher.

- Well, it's not a secret anymore.

He's going to tell the newspapers.

- Like it?

I call this Playmate Land that Playmate Magazine will soon be opening to commemorate our fifth year of publication.

Here, in this pond, will be hot spring water with alligators.

Rare tropical birds and animals will wonder freely through the park among the visitors.

And people will feel they're really in the tropics.

(animals chirping) - Where will you get these animals?

- Well right now, some of my people and some university scientists are on a special expedition of the South Seas just for that purpose.

- Oh, very good.

- Wonderful!

- It's terrific!

- But also, another interesting thing, the main purpose of the expedition is to actually bring back strange animals of the South Sea Islands.

- [Woman] Oh.

- [Man] From the jungles.

- And here will be an outdoor restaurant.

The visitors will be able to enjoy a meal in tropical splendor.

And on this stage we will have primitive dancers from the islands.

Well, that's the entire plan.

- Very good.

The publishing business is now getting into the tourist business!

(laughing) - You're right.

And every one of you will be able to enjoy a South Seas trip without leaving the country.

Right here.

Here, here.

Right here.

(laughing) (boat horn blowing) - Well, tomorrow's the day we arrive at a South Seas Paradise.

- Tonooka, it may be for you but we have a lot of work to do.

- I really envy you.

Getting a vacation like this at company expense.

- Who're you trying to kid?

You're the one who has it made.

All you have to do is chase some birds.

- Come on.

It's our profession to be scientific collectors.

- Collecting at our company's expense.

- Kurosaki.

(groaning) (ominous music) - A monster!

(rumbling) - Professor!

(rumbling) - Under sea earthquake.

That's close.

(rumbling) - Bring them about.

Bring them into the wind!

- [Man] Aye aye, sir!

(rumbling) (glass rattling) - It looks like it's over now.

All right?

- I'm all right.

- That was close.

It's like we'd been thrown into the sea.

- Saburo was out on the deck!

- Huh?

What's that?

- Kurosaki!

- What's wrong?

- Like this!

Big eyes!

A great big monster!

- A monster?

- Huh?

- I caught it.

It's tail is bigger than this ship!

- [Kurosaki] Don't be stupid.

There's no fish like that.

- Oh, but it's true.

Come out on deck and see for yourself.

- [Kurosaki] Where is it?

- Over here!

Take a look.

Huh?

- There's nothing here, all right?

Stop getting everyone excited.

There's nothing here.

- No?

I was so sure.

Oh!

Ah!

It's still hooked!

Everybody step back and be careful!

All right, I gotcha.

(groaning) Here he comes!

(yelling) (laughing) - Just as I told you.

You must be having a bad dream.

- Saburo would make a good science fiction writer.

(laughing) (rumbling) - Kurosaki, look!

(dramatic orchestral music) - Tonooka!

Over there.

- That's the volcanic island of Obelisk.

- That earthquake.

- Cause by that volcano.

- All right.

Then let's start with the island.

(rumbling) - What is that?

- Like the statues on Easter Island.

- Yes, but we're thousands of miles away from Easter Island.

- There's a scientific theory that all these islands were once connected.

That was millions of years ago.

So that stone statue wouldn't be so strange.

- What kind of stone statue?

- Just a stone idol.

All the remains of a lost civilization that used to live on this island.

- Oh?

This is getting real interesting.

You know, maybe we can do a little treasure hunting too.

(laughing) - Seven of us will be going ashore.

- You never know what'll happen.

If you run into trouble, return to the ship at once.

(chuckling) - We'll be all right.

Now, let's go ashore.

(boat horn blowing) (somber bongo drum music) - Let's go.

(ominous orchestral music) - Hey, I'm sure I've been here before.

- [Kurosaki] ] What's that?

- I'm not joking.

I'm sure of it.

- Kurosaki, doesn't this look like the model of the South Sea Paradise?

- Ah, that's it!

I saw this in the publisher's office.

- [Kurosaki] Quiet.

- They're cannibals?

- Are you Japan people?

- That's right.

We're Japanese.

How did you know?

- Lieutenant?

Which one?

- Lieutenant?

- I am.

(speaking foreign language) (cheering) (chanting foreign language) (rumbling) (exciting bongo music) (volcano rumbling) - Japanese people make promise.

Come back.

After many moons, you come back.

Gappa no angry now.

- Gappa?

- No angry!

Gappa happy!

(laughing) - What's Gappa mean?

- Hmm?

Their God, maybe.

You know, they think we can stop earthquakes.

- And you know, the earthquakes have stopped.

- Boy!

Where's the large stone idol?

Large.

Stone idol.

- Gappa!

- So that's Gappa.

Let's go find this Gappa.

- Lieutenant here now.

Gappa sleep.

- We don't have that kind of power.

We can't tell when it will happen again.

- Professor, why don't we take them back to Japan?

Japan?

- Playmate Land.

It won't make sense to you, but there's a place where you can live being made in Japan.

- My people born here.

We die here.

- But you're in danger if you don't leave here.

- That's enough.

We came here for scientific research.

We shouldn't interfere with these people.

(distant bongo music) - Oh?

Where are they going?

(people chanting) - Say, folks, are you tired of yelling back at the TV, screaming endlessly at El Sapo and his ineptitude.

- I never heard anyone yelling lately.

- Yes, but I'm sure there are many people constantly yelling at you.

We can't hear them.

I wish someone would invent a way for the people to tell you exactly what they think.

- Someone has.

It's called E-mail.

Folks can E-mail us at info@nightmaretheatre.com.

You can even compliment me if you have a mind to.

- No chance that'll happen.

Send us some E-mail.

Let us know what you think.

Mittens and El Sapo are standing by to read your thoughts.

(birds chirping) - [Koyanagi] Hey, don't you think it's strange?

- [Kurosaki] What is?

- [Koyanagi] Gappa is supposed to be God and yet, everybody appears to be afraid of him.

- [Kurosaki] Well in primitive races, the most fearful thing is usually the gods.

- No god.

Gappa, no god.

- Well, so you can speak.

- [Boy] Gappa, no god.

- If Gappa isn't the god, what is it?

- Gappa.

He fly.

- Have you seen Gappa?

- People tell me.

(sighing) - I'm getting confused.

- Well, let's go find that stone statue.

(birds chirping) - Kurosaki!

Kurosaki!

He should take me when he goes treasure hunting.

All right, I'll just go find my own treasure then.

(hissing) (gasping) That almost scared me.

(ominous music) (menacing music) - It's the same.

Just like the idols on Easter Island.

(camera shutter clicking) - But what's it doing in a place like this?

- Let's look.

- [Boy] No go!

No go there!

- Why not?

- The stone statue.

My people never go.

- Don't worry about it.

It's only a stone statue.

- No go!

Gappa angry.

(rumbling) (people screaming) (rumbling) (people chanting) - Professor!

Kurosaki went into the jungle.

(rumbling) - Look at that.

(foreboding music) Let's go inside.

- But.

- No go!

Gappa angry!

- Don't worry.

Go get the lieutenant.

Say your friend go in cave.

- Kurosaki!

Where'd they go?

I'm tired of treasure hunting.

(groaning) Huh?

Ah ha.

They must've went in there.

(water trickling) (groaning) - I'm scared.

I don't like places like this.

- Don't be silly.

You're supposed to be a news photographer.

- But-- - Then go back to Tokyo and learn to cook.

Marry some office worker.

Have babies.

Stay home and wash diapers.

- All right, I'm not quitting.

- Look at that.

A lake under a volcano.

- I wonder, are we dreaming?

- We're here.

You see?

- It's hard to believe that you and I are the first persons to see this lake.

- And suddenly, you're a photographer again.

- [Koyonagi] Kurosaki.

- I'm not being sarcastic.

Forgive me.

Understand?

A prehistoric skeleton.

These old bones.

I bet this is what the natives call Gappa.

- It must've been a terrible thing when it was alive.

- I guess so.

That stone idol must've been placed their long ago to seal up the cave.

- Kurosaki!

Kurosaki, what do you mean leaving me alone and going treasure hunting?!

- [Kurosaki] Treasure hunting?

- [Koyonagi] Have you been having bad dreams again?

- Wrong again.

This is no fun.

Huh?

Hey, what's that over there?

- A stone?

- Let's go see.

- Looks like an egg.

- I never saw a chicken egg that big before.

- A giant egg.

(rumbling) (steam hissing) (egg cracking) - Earthquake!

Let's get out of here!

We'll all be killed!

Let me out!

(rumbling) (egg cracking) (ominous music) (Saburo whimpering) (dramatic orchestral music) - Kurosaki!

- Kurosaki?

- [Kurosaki] Over here!

- You shouldn't go off on your own like this.

We were worried.

- I'm sorry.

Tonooka, we found something very interesting.

- Oh, what?

- Come and take a look at it.

- All right.

(ominous music) - Strange.

It's definitely an egg.

Whatever was inside must still be here.

- Captain!

- Wait a minute.

We have to be careful.

- It's all right.

- No touch!

Gappa angry!

No touch!

Gappa angry!

No touch, no touch!

No touch!

- [Man] It's all right.

(exciting bongo drum music) (vocalizing) - You people come.

Gappa now angry!

- Grandpa, you can't blame us.

We're not the gods of the earthquake.

- You people no go!

Gappa be more angry.

- [Koyonagi] That's why we're asking you to come to Japan with us.

- It's no use.

These people will never leave this island.

- But if we leave them here.

- It's all right.

This island has been here for a long time.

So you see, it's not going to sink.

- No sink.

Gappa angry!

- [Kurosaki] It's just a big lizard.

- You people take away.

Gappa kill my people.

He be much more angry.

Give back to Gappa.

- Then will you be happy if we throw it back in the lake?

- The lake?

- I'll tell you what Gappa really is.

Bones.

Old bones.

Bones of animals that lived a million years ago.

And they're all dead!

(steam hissing) (water dripping) (ominous music) (water rumbling) (Gappa growling) (menacing music) (growling) - Welcome back.

Well, folks, I was right about this film, wasn't I?

This movie is depressingly bad.

- It is bad, I admit, but there are some great characters.

You know what character I like the best, boss?

- The island chief?

- No.

- But he's the clear choice.

The leader is always the best choice.

The rest of these people are fools.

- I like that guy who got caught with his own fish hook in the beginning!

- The guy who stumbled all over the jungle and fell down a lot?

Of course that's the guy you would like.

I should've seen that coming.

He's the Japanese Droppo!

- But I relate to on what I guess you could call a human level.

He and I have a lot in common and I think we'd hang out.

- That makes perfect sense now.

- But you know something, boss?

It's really kinda sad how those guys snatched up baby Gappa, huh?

- Indeed.

It's just a terrible situation.

- And it got me to thinkin'.

What would happen if someone kidnapped me and put me in a zoo?

Would you and Mittens come and break me out?

- Of course not.

I'd mostly stand outside the bars and laugh until I was hoarse.

I would visit the zoo every day just to mock you.

I would personally fund field trips for area school kids so they could come and mock you.

I'd pay the kids to toss rotten tomatoes and orange peels at you.

- Oh come on, boss.

You don't mean that.

- Oh, I do.

Mittens could you imagine this guy stuck in a zoo?

- Well, I would like to think someone would come lookin' for me if I got imprisoned like poor baby Gappa.

- Nope.

I'd put an ad on Craigslist and we'd have a new man-servant in here by the time they tossed the first raw fish into your cage.

That's what they feed creatures like you in the zoo, you know?

Raw rotten fish.

- Boss, boss, that's horrible.

- I'm only kiddin'.

- Phew.

- If someone kidnapped you, and fat chance of that happening, but if they did, I would probably come looking for you.

I mean, I wouldn't look too hard, but I'd come.

- But you would look.

- Briefly, sure.

- That's good enough for me.

- Well, why don't you folks get back to the movie?

Just imagine, Mittens.

Think about this, El Sapo in a cage, dancing for peanuts.

That would be hilarious, wouldn't it?

(boat horn blowing) - I'm worried.

It won't eat anything I give it.

- Pretty soon it will become tame.

- [Koyonagi] It only looks like a monster but it's really cute.

- But to see something actually hatch from a dinosaur egg.

It's fantastic!

- The temperature in that cave must've been exactly right for over a million years.

- Do you think it's really that old?

- It could be.

An egg which is in a state of hibernation could hatch if the temperature suddenly went up.

- I see what you mean.

The mother lays and egg and then dies by the side of that underground lake.

Then a few million years later, the egg hatches.

Makes a great story, doesn't it?

- Maybe it was a mistake to take this baby reptile away from that island.

- You're worrying?

About what the natives said?

- That's not it.

Because it's strange, people will keep bothering it from now on.

- You and I don't thin alike.

- Hmmm?

- You see, I want to use it for reptile evolution research.

- In this world, there must be many people who think differently than you do.

- [Man] What's that mean?

- Our publisher.

He won't let it be used for research.

- I sent a cable to the publisher.

I sure bet he'll be surprised.

- [Oyama] Gappa.

G-A-P-P-A.

Gappa, Gappa.

I can't find it.

The height.

Do you know what the height is?

- What?

Oh, about five feet.

- Oh?

That small?

- Oyama?

- Yes?

- You can't judge a man's value by his height.

And you better remember it!

- I was asking Gappa's height.

- Idiot!

Why didn't you say so first?

- One and two and three.

You see?

You're doing just fine.

All right, that's all for today.

- Thank you very much.

- Remember that in practice, all right?

- Yes.

I finished my dancing lesson.

Papa, are you finished?

- [Oyama] Huh?

This is important work.

Why don't you go ahead and play?

- It's no fun always working, working.

- [Oyama] All right, all right.

When I'm finished, I'll do anything you want.

- Then will you find me a mommy?

- Huh?

Don't be silly.

Momma's in Heaven now.

- I mean find a new mommy.

I think my dancing teacher would make a real nice new mommy for me, don't you papa?

- Don't talk nonsense.

Now go and play with your dolls or something.

Go ahead.

- Let's not bother daddy now.

Well, excuse me.

- Thank you very, very much.

Well, what about it?

Did you find Gappa?

- I can't find any reptile like that.

- Then start looking harder!

A lot harder!

We have to have a good story to make reporter meet the ship!

- But this is everything!

- You know, something smells.

- Huh?

(sniffing) What does?

- That cable from the expedition.

Maybe they all got sunstroke down there.

And all they have is a burnt lizard from the volcano.

- What's that?

- That's possible.

- Just a burnt lizard?

- That's right.

It must be that.

- Hmm.

Spending so much money over a stupid burnt lizard, claiming it's a big discovery and coming back here so quickly.

Those idiots are just trying to make a fool out of me!

(grunting) Stupid burnt lizard!

(explosions rumbling) (people screaming) (rumbling) (rocks crumbling) (growling) (footsteps rumbling) (people yelling) (roaring) (roaring) (all screaming) (growling) (screaming) (roaring) (people screaming) (roaring) - [Man] Commander!

The volcano is erupting on that island.

- [Commander] Pull in close to shore and check for survivors.

- [Man] Aye aye, sir.

- Hey, this is slow!

Can't you make it go faster?

And you?

Trying to make a fool out of me.

A crazy story of a burnt lizard.

- Huh?

- All those reporters, they're waiting to see what you brought back?

Strange animals.

Beautiful tropical birds.

And all kinds of exotic plants.

What do you expect me to tell them?

- Easy, tell them we failed.

- Then it's true.

Everything you did went wrong and you want me to apologize for you?

- You must be kidding.

This Gappa story will give you the biggest circulation in the world next month.

- Ha!

You don't think you can fool me like that.

- Just you wait till you see what we have.

- Nevermind.

I've seen burnt lizards.

Well, it's just like I said, I'd appreciate it if all of you would keep the story of the baby Gappa to yourselves for a little while longer.

- That's impossible.

We'll have to take it through customs.

- Hmm.

We'll take it ashore by motor boat.

Motor boat and nobody will know the difference.

- But this is the only one in the whole world.

A real prehistoric reptile.

I think we should tell the newspapers about it for scientific reasons.

- Tonooka, perhaps you've forgotten just who paid for this expedition?

- Well-- - Well, I mean I don't intend to keep this story of this baby Gappa a secret forever.

First of all, Playmate Magazine will feature it in the next issue and after that scoop, we'll use it as a sensational opening for Playmate Land!

I don't think that's too much to ask.

- But you see, hiding a discovery like this, just so your magazine can make a profit, is all wrong to me.

- Tonooka, you don't want us to have exclusive possession.

- [Tonooka] What's that?

- I know what you want.

This is a great chance for you to become famous.

- Why you.

- You think of everything as a scientist.

But I am a reporter.

You live for science but I live for news.

Now I'll tell you, if you won't let us keep this a secret for awhile, it's all right, because right away, without showing it to anyone, I'll ship it back to the island!

- Welcome back.

This movie is moving about as fast as El Sapo on laundry day.

- I'll say!

It is so exciting, boss.

Mittens had to talk a calmative and I am just bouncing off the walls with excitement!

- Okay, so let me recap the action for those of you still awake.

A group of Japanese scientists are scouting out locations to build something called Playmate Island that sounds a lot cooler than it actually is.

They end up taking a detour and wind up stealing a monster's baby.

Horrible, but this plot did give me a great idea.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You want to steal a monster's baby, boss?

- No, stupid, we're gonna open an island theme park.

We'll call it Mondo Island.

I've looked into it and we can get an island the army once used for chemical atomic weapons testing for next to nothing.

- Won't there still be residual chemical leakage and radiation around?

- That's not our problem.

We'll have 'em sign a waiver.

If they still complain, we'll buy 'em off with a Mittens T-shirt or something.

- That sounds great, boss!

What kinda stuff will we have?

Will we have rides, a petting zoo, carnival games?

- All that and more!

We'll have Mittens in a food truck selling Von Doren brand corndogs.

75% corn, 23% dog.

- What's the other 2%?

- That's a trade secret.

We'll also have games of skill like Ring Around the Sapo.

Guests will toss flaming rings around an asbestos-covered El Sapo animatronic.

Now, by the way, Sapo, until the factory gets up to speed, you'll have to let folks toss the flaming rings around you.

- That sounds exciting, wait, wait, what, what?

- And for every flaming ring you get around Sapo, you'll win a fabulous prize.

Be the envy of your neighbors with this Von Doren brand bathing cap.

- Ooooh, can I have one, boss?

- What would you do with a bathing cap?

You don't bathe!

- Grrr, you've got me there!

- And our star attraction will be a roller coaster called Sapo's Descent.

It's a dark ride that simulates what it's like inside Sapo's head, so, basically, a free-fall into nothingness.

- Those folks are in for one wild ride.

- So, while we're processing the proper paperwork and figure out which officials we need to bribe, why don't you folks get back to "Monster from a Prehistoric Planet" here on Nightmare Theatre.

(suspenseful orchestral music) - Well, they'll turn green when they see our next issue.

- And what do we do after we publish it?

- Don't you understand?

We'll raise that baby Gappa ourselves.

It'll Playmate Land's special feature.

- But won't that be dangerous?

- Don't be stupid.

You can tame any animal.

We'll teach it a few tricks.

(chuckling) I'll leave that to you two.

- Oh?

(laughing) - This will be the greatest thing I've done.

(pleasant orchestral music) (baby Gappa squawking) - A foot and a half in one week.

If it keeps growing like this, how big will it get?

- It'll soon be too big to keep here.

- We better take it to Playmate Land.

- No.

To be honest about it, I don't want them to have it.

- Neither do I. I want your research to be successful.

- Thank you.

- This is for you.

- Thank you.

- Tonooka.

Don't make Miss Koyanagi work too hard.

She hasn't had enough sleep lately.

- I'm not keeping her.

- I'm helping him because I want to.

- Oh, so that's it.

- This baby is quiet and very moody.

(baby Gappa squawking) - Go look in the mirror.

You're only 22 but you're getting a lot of wrinkles.

- It's none of your concern.

I don't happen to be your wife.

Now go away.

- You're very stubborn, aren't you?

- He doesn't have affection for any kind of animal.

He's only a reporter.

- But isn't that his work?

- You're strange.

Now you're taking his side.

- No, I didn't mean that.

It's just that he's doing his job and I'm doing mine.

(baby Gappa squawking) - Hey, look at this!

(baby Gappa squawking) - See!

- Wow, it's big!

- Unbelievable.

- What's it mean?

- It looks impossible.

These waves resemble a bird's.

- [Man] That means?

- An extraordinary homing ability to locate its own nest.

- If its parents were still alive-- - Mmm.

They'd be able to find out where he is.

(man yelling) (baby Gappa squawking) (electricity crackling) (squealing) (yelling) - What happened?

- It attacked Hosoda.

- That's not true.

- This animal belongs to me and I can do what I want with it!

But it's weird, it gives off sparks like electricity.

It really is a monster.

- Please, you must leave here.

- What?

- If you want to keep it a secret, you have to keep away form here.

(squawking) (squawking) (grunting) - Gappa's baby.

They take to Japan.

- Gappa?

Japan?

- Gappa's parents both angry.

Spitting fire.

- I don't know what he's saying.

- Nevermind.

When we anchor at the coast, we'll make a full investigation.

- Sir, two unidentified submarines behind us!

- What?

Unidentified submarines following us?

- Yes sir and they're coming up fast!

(rumbling) - Gappa!

- [Man] Flight 43, maintain altitude and flight pattern.

Wait five minutes for landing instructions.

- [Pilot Radio] This is flight 43, roger.

- [Man] What's that?

(beeping) - We're gonna hit it!

Take us down!

(rumbling) (beeping) - Attention two aircraft over airport.

Identify yourselves immediately!

(beeping) - I've never seen a large plane shaped like that before.

Both of them climbing at a fantastic speed.

- Climbing you say?

- Yes, almost vertically.

- [Man] But isn't that almost impossible?

- Of course.

But I actually did see them.

Both flying at such tremendous speed that no jet today could overtake them.

- And there were two of them, huh?

- Yes, both the same type.

- [Man] Which direction did they go?

- Toward Sagami Bay.

- Oh, Sagami Bay.

- Going fast too.

- [TV Announcer] Two mysterious aircraft were sighted today flying towards Sagami Bay.

- Tonooka, do you think Gappa's parents could fly?

- The wings wouldn't be developed.

I don't think they could fly.

- But even the impossible can happen.

Koyanagi, maybe we did make a big mistake.

- Oh?

(thunder crashing) (upbeat rock music) - Okay, I'm here to tell you the scariest thing I ever saw.

It was a kid, it was "Salem's Lot."

He as banging on his brother's bedroom window.

- What?

- Yeah, it was bonk, bonk, bonk, and it was terrifying.

It was even worse than this guy.

- Oh, there he is.

Welcome back.

We're once again here in the sub-sub-sub-sub basement of the television studio with the mysterious Curator from the Merrill Movie Museum and he's brought us another prop to look at tonight.

So without further ado, Mr. Curator please take it away.

- Well, this is something that goes even deeper that the sub-- - [Baron] Whoa.

- [Curator] Sub-sub-sub basement.

This is a dive suit miniature from the movie "Leviathan."

In the late '80s, there was a craze for deep undersea movies that kinda started with "The Abyss", which was kind of a James Cameron top-tier-- - Based on a true story.

It happened to some people I know.

- And then "Leviathan" was kind of the second-tier of that and then there were some others that were-- - "Deep Star Six" comes to mind.

- Yes, indeed.

So, this is a film where there were in deep undersea missions and this was supposed to be a dive suit that would be used to explore the bottom of the sea.

In some places they did film actors wearing these heavy suits and they were not filmed underwater.

They were filmed just in a regular environment, but for some scenes, they actually did use models underwater, and these were made to kind of bounce around and the joints kinda bounce with it and it looks like a very human, slow underwater movement.

But it's actually just an empty shell-- - Like me.

- About a foot tall.

And would stand in for the actors basically.

- So, this would actually, it appear that it was bouncing on the bottom-- - Yeah, yeah, originally, this would not have been on a stand.

This is a piece that we actually had a lot of restoration work done on because when this came into our possession, one of the claws was completely busted off, the joints were all very loose, and this was a piece that needed a little love.

We went to an artist named Tim Sheldon, who was also does a lot of work with National Aviation Museum and model-making, and he was able to get this back into really beautiful displaying condition.

He recast one of the claws that had come off.

I used to have the original claw from it, but we actually needed to make a brand new one.

And then he built this base for it, completely original, to hold this in place, to make it a nice display, complete with this little underwater scene with a little crab running by and shells and everything.

So this is a combination of the artistry of the original film and the artist of somebody who's come in afterwards to restore and enhance the piece.

- And so you talk about restoration and that's because a lot of these pieces were not meant to be saved.

They were meant to be used for this one film and then basically tossed away, discarded.

That is what happened a lot in the early days and even up until times like the '80s when films were made.

- That's right, yeah.

In most cases, they don't care about the props.

As long as they will survive the shoot and look good on screen, what happens to them after that is not their concern.

The filmmakers don't care.

You will get things that an actor or director or somebody will decide they want to keep for themselves, but for the most part, they either go into an archive or they're discarded.

- It's a shame.

- Now, there's a collectible market and now you see a lot of studios going directly to selling those items to collectors.

But in the '80s, that market really didn't exist and things were just stored away or handed down or hoarded, and eventually they sometimes make their way into the market and we're able to get a hold of them.

- And you say that, we talked about by the time this movie was made, we had video cassettes, we had things like that, so the movies were living on, but in the early days of film, a lot of films were lost because no one even thought, well, this will have a second life, once it was done playing in the theaters, the prints were destroyed or in the case of early television, erased.

I mean, just taped over, recorded over, like Sapo did with his sister's baby shower.

- Exactly.

- So, you know, this was just the way it was, and these things were considered disposable.

- Yeah, so for something like this to survive at all was unusual.

And it's not uncommon for things like this to need restoration work.

We're just glad that we were able to get this piece and to get it back into almost screen-worthy condition.

- Yeah, and it's, you know, the beautiful base that you added and things like that that make it really look like a great display piece.

Which is what it is now.

It's not ever going back in the service in the movies probably.

- No.

- I don't think there's gonna be a "Leviathan" sequel or anything any time soon, but it's great to see it and it's great to preserve this history.

- Yeah, there are definitely items we have in the collection that if we needed to call them into use to make a film, we could.

This would not be one of them.

That's why this is on a base where it's not meant to really be taken out and used as a puppet anymore.

- No.

Well, thank you again for bringing that into us.

We really do appreciate it.

And why don't you folks get back to the movie here on Nightmare Theatre.

(upbeat music) (singing in foreign language) (eerie ambient music) (waves rumbling) - What's that?

(all chattering) (ominous music) (people yelling) (roaring) (people yelling) (roaring) (people screaming) (Gappa roaring) (people screaming) (growling) (building rumbling) - [Radio Announcer] It is impossible to anticipate where the two monsters, which suddenly appeared in the Sagami area, will attack next.

The government has enlisted the aid of the self-defense forces and the United States armed forces in an attempt to destroy this horrible menace.

(helicopters buzzing) (tanks rumbling) (building rumbling) (gunshots booming) (growling) (roaring) (roaring) (explosion booming) (roaring) (growling) (helicopter whizzing) (gunshots booming) (explosions rumbling) (growling) (explosions booming) (roaring) (explosions booming) (roaring) (roaring) (building crumbling) (explosion booming) (rumbling) (roaring) - [Man] Look at that!

- Welcome back.

Well, it appears the movie is moving right along, I guess.

It seems like something's actually finally happening.

So, at least we've got that going for us.

- Boss, can I ask you something?

- No.

- Just something that's been on my mind throughout this entire movie.

What kind of monster is Gappa?

- What do you mean?

- I mean what is a Gappa?

They seem to have amazing powers.

They can fly, they can swim, they can breathe underwater.

Bullets and missiles just bounce right of them!

I'd love to have those kinds of powers.

- I wish you'd try some of those things.

Maybe you can fly, El Sapo.

Have you ever tried?

Why don't you climb on the roof and give it a shot?

Hold onto a rock and jump into the ocean.

I'll bet you can breathe underwater.

Let me get a missile and take a shot at you.

- I'm not making that mistake again, boss.

I was just wondering what kind of monster Gappa is.

Seems like odd powers for a monster to have.

- Well, Sapo, this film is often referred to as "Gappa, The Triphibian Monster."

Triphibian means something that can operate in the air, in the sea, and on the land, unlike you, who can barely operate a can opener.

Maybe they can make a movie about you.

"El Sapo, Nonphibian."

- Oh, come on, boss.

You know nobody would ever come see a movie about little ol' me.

- You're 100% correct there.

To answer your question, El Sapo, Gappa is basically a creature who can survive in any environment and can't be destroyed.

They can't be killed.

You can't stop them.

- Wow!

Gappa is indestructible!

- Correct.

Like this movie, Gappa is a force of nature hellbent on destroying everything in its path.

You know, maybe you and Gappa are a lot alike.

You leave nothing but sadness and misery in your wake.

- That's very nice of you to say, boss.

I appreciate that compliment.

- That was not a compliment.

Now, let's get back to the movie.

(suspenseful orchestral music) - What's taking them so long?

- If those monsters keep destroying everything, what will happen to us?

- There isn't any way we can possibly stop those monsters.

- Still arguing?

- Bombing didn't disturb them and also no poison liquid that we've been able to use so far.

- And also the heat ray they emit from their mouths.

It's more powerful than anything yet known to man.

It can turn the earth into molten lava and we have absolutely no defense against it.

- If we could only get them back on land, we could use missiles.

- That's right.

They've got to be eliminated.

But first we've got to get them out of the lake.

- There's one way to get them out.

It can be done with sound waves.

Gappa are extremely sensitive to certain sounds.

More so than other animals.

Listen.

(screeching) That sound is unpleasant to human ears.

You heard it at about 12,000 cycles but if we raise it to about 30,000 cycles and send it through the water-- - Do you think it will really work?

- At the very least, it will get the Gappa out of the lake.

(suspenseful orchestral music) (sirens alarming) - Soki!

- I'm Dr. McDonald.

- Soki, come back!

(somber orchestral music) - Gappa.

Go back home.

Go back home with me.

- It's strange.

I wonder why.

- The girl was the same.

There's some kind of link between that primitive animal and humans.

I wish I knew what it was.

(squawking) (dramatic orchestral music) - Everything is ready, sir.

- Well done!

Wait for orders!

- Yes, sir.

- Are the troops ready for action?

- [Radio Solider] Troops 106 ready.

- Standby.

- Mr. Tonooka doesn't care what happens to the baby Gappa.

He's only interested in what he can do for his own research.

- Every man has his own ambition.

We all wanna be successful in our work.

I'm the same as he is.

And you should understand what he's doing.

You love him, don't you?

- You think so.

- Am I wrong?

- You know, in that cave on the island, I felt that we were the only two alive in the world.

I wanted to be with you all my life.

- Koyanagi?

- No, I don't.

I hate you and I hate Mr. Tonooka!

- Detach!

(motor buzzing) - It's all right.

This man is Mr. John McDonald from America.

- I'm so glad you're all right.

I'm so glad.

- Mr. Kurosaki, Dr. McDonald.

- [Both] How do you do?

- I heard about your troubles from the boy.

- And he brought him here all the way out from the ship.

- Gappa look for baby.

They'll come here.

You must send baby back now.

Then Gappa no be angry.

Me go back too with Gappa.

- What's that?

- Gappa want baby very much.

So Gappa angry.

You promise send Gappa back?

- Kurosaki, the parents of that baby Gappa have the same kind of feelings as human beings.

I'm sure that what this boy is saying is the right thing and what we're doing is wrong.

Now send the baby back.

You've got to do it and right away.

- If we do, can you guarantee those monsters will go away?

- We've got to do everything we can.

- But look.

It's too late.

(motor buzzing) (ominous music) - We're ready.

(high-pitch whistling) (high-pitch whistling) (high-pitch whistling) (water rumbling) - It worked.

Get ready to fire.

- Gappa!

- [Kurosaki] Soki!

- Gappa!

- Come back here!

- Gappa!

Gappa!

Gappa!

(explosions booming) (growling) Gappa!

Gappa!

(explosions booming) - They're getting weak.

Keep firing.

(explosions booming) (growling) (explosions booming) (wave rumbling) (all screaming) (birds chirping) (suspenseful orchestral music) (rumbling) (people screaming) (roaring) (growling) - Right, contact headquarters.

- How is the Nikko area?

- We don't have any specific information but it's very bad.

- Atami and Kawaguchi were very badly damaged.

Even missiles can't stop them.

Now we have to protect Tokyo.

Make sure the men are in position.

- First division, prepare to take position.

- Hi, I'm Leah Cairns, and you're watching "Nightmare Theatre."

I hope you enjoy the show.

(upbeat rock music) - Listen, I'm sorry about this movie you had to sit through, folks.

I blame El Sapo.

- Boss, Mittens, I've got some real bad news for you fellas.

- Well, what could be worse than this movie?

- We got a letter from the health inspector and the fire marshal and apparently they ain't gonna let us open Mondo Island.

- What?

What do they say?

(sighing) - Yep, they sent us a letter identifying, hold on, 1,873 reasons why we can not open the island.

- Such as?

- No offense, Mittens.

They say Mittens is technically a wild animal and we can not have a wild animal serving food to people.

- Oh, come on, that's just nitpicking!

He's no worse than most of the guys I've seen at food trucks.

- Amen!

And Mittens has been typhus-free for, what, eight months now?

- Now, what else did they say?

- Well, they feel as though the attractions are, what's that word?

- Inherently.

- Inherently unsafe.

What does that mean?

- It means they think our main attraction, Sapo's Descent, is unsafe for riders.

- Well, what do they think we could do to make it safe?

- Well, it says here they say we need doors on the roller coaster carts, seatbelts, brakes, actual seats and not just boards and on and on.

Oh, they also think we should remove all photos of you because you make laboratory rats sick.

- Dang big government!

- Well, that's the way it goes.

Easy come, easy go.

- Well, what am I gonna do with the 10,000 gallons of squirrel chili?

- Maybe we could sell it to some school cafeterias?

- No, I looked.

They specifically mention us trying to unload the chili, we are forbidden from selling it, donating it, or giving it to anyone.

We can't even dump it in our landfill!

- Well, I guess you and Mittens better grab a spoon and get to eatin'.

- Well, what am I gonna do with all these Von Doren brand bathing caps.

- [Baron] No, no, we can keep those.

Christmas is coming and maybe we can sell 'em to suckers on the internet.

- No, actually, they addressed that too.

I checked.

- Drat!

I have to recoup this loss somehow.

Sapo, you're gonna have to get another job.

- No one is gonna hire me, boss, believe me!

- Well, I guess that's true enough.

We'll have to find another way to break even.

Sapo, can you run down to the basement and get my thinkin' hat?

- Sure.

- I've gotta figure out a way to get the money we invested in this island back.

- Sure thing, boss!

- Now, while he's gone, I need to make a call.

Why don't you folks get back to the thrilling conclusion of "Monster From a Prehistoric Planet."

It's almost over, I swear.

(footsteps rumbling) (electricity crackling) (growling) - [Radio Announcer] After attacking the Nikko area, the two monsters have changed their course and are now headed south towards Tokyo along route 11.

All residents in the area have been ordered to evacuate their homes immediately.

- Kurosaki, please!

Just once listen to what I have to say!

You must return the baby Gappa!

I agree, it's a big gamble but you must believe it would.

Don't you see, what know nothing about these creatures.

And this boy knows more about them than any of us.

- What're you trying to say?

If we send it back you think those monsters will go away?

- That's the only thing we can do.

- Idiot!

That's a stupid idea.

After all our trouble.

I won't send it back!

- Mr. Funazu.

The Gappa are getting closer to Tokyo.

If we don't do something, they'll destroy the whole country.

- Tonooka!

There's something that you're forgetting.

If giving back the baby makes those two monsters go away, not only I, but you too, will be blamed for this disaster.

Did you think about that?

- I'll take the blame if it comes.

- Kurosaki!

You'll also be punished for this!

- I'm the one who brought it back.

I'll take full responsibility.

- I won't give it up.

I don't care what you say!

You can't take it back!

- Papa, give it back!

Please promise me!

I know the baby misses it's papa and momma very much.

- Quiet!

Those lizards don't have feelings like that!

- Papa's mean!

I don't like you anymore!

- All right, if that's the way you feel.

You've changed and awful lot and we can't listen to a mad man.

Now, let's get ready.

- The helicopters are ready.

They'll be here soon.

- We're already here.

- Okay, let's go.

(helicopter whizzing) (suspenseful orchestral music) - [Radio Announcer] The two monsters are now heading toward the eastern section of the industrial area.

The airport has been closed to all flights since early this morning.

Up till now, there seems to be no way of stopping the monsters and they are destroying everything in their paths.

Please stay tuned for further developments.

- Doctor, can't the helicopters go faster?

- Impossible.

They're carrying a tremendous weight.

(footsteps crunching) (whooshing) (steam hissing) (roaring) (explosions rumbling) (helicopters whizzing) (roaring) (explosions thundering) (growling) (roaring) (distant rumbling) (growling) (fire rumbling) (helicopters thumping) (pleasant orchestral music) (squawking) - No good.

They can't hear the cries.

- Saburo, do you have that tape?

- Huh?

- That's right!

The voice of the baby Gappa.

- Oh, sure!

Here it is!

(squawking) (explosions thundering) (baby Gappa squawking) (explosions rumbling) (baby Gappa squawking) - They've heard it!

(baby Gappa squawking) - Papa!

(Gappa roaring) - Gappa.

(footsteps crunching) (growling) (squawking) (pleasant orchestral music) (squawking) (squawking) (squawking) (vocalizing) - It worked, it really worked after all!

- Gappa!

Go back to island!

No one will stop you.

Hurry!

(squawking) (growling) (squawking) (dramatic orchestral music) - It's all over.

- Kurosaki, Tonooka, I'm sorry.

I'm afraid that I've ruined both of your ambitions.

- No.

I guess we were being too selfish.

You have to think of other people too.

I forgot about that.

- That's right.

The price was very high.

But the Gappa made me realize there's more to life than ambition.

(pleasant orchestral music) - You know, I decided to quit my job.

I guess I'm just an ordinary woman.

I should stay home, marry an office worker and wash diapers.

You see, well, goodbye.

- Hey, you can't let her go just like that.

(grand orchestral music) (grand orchestral music) - Hello, zoo?

Yeah, listen, I might have the deal of the century for you.

I have a creature that's just perfect for your attraction.

- Boss, I couldn't-- - Shh, I'm on the phone, I'm on the phone!

How tall is he?

Mmmm, maybe 5'8" or so, 170 pounds.

Yeah, two fish a week oughta do it.

How much will you give me for him?

Ooooh, that much, huh?

Do you have a no trade-back policy?

- Boss, are you selling Mittens to the zoo?

- Listen, they're wise to me.

I gotta call you back.

Hello, and welcome back to Nightmare Theatre.

That was some ending, huh?

All three monsters just flew back home, leaving untold misery and devastation behind them.

- Wait, wait, 5'8", 170.

You were gonna sell me to the zoo, weren't you, boss?

- Well, the thought did enter my mind.

I mean, you'd probably like it there.

I could get you a spot between the monkey and hyena cages.

- No, no, boss.

I can get the money.

I know it.

I'll find me a job as an office worker.

I'll just a job washing diapers.

- All right, then, we'll manage somehow.

Mondo Island was just a crazy dream and it's probably a good idea just to give up on it.

- The old man in the movie gave up on have Gappa in a zoo, didn't he?

And you know what, I think he grew a little bit by the end of the movie, and you know, he just might've learned something.

- Uh-huh.

I'm sure there's a lesson somewhere in this film about not interfering with nature and leaving animals alone or maybe something to do with the ecology, but you know what, I don't care.

Let's just move on.

- Would you care to share a bowl of squirrel chili with me, boss?

- No, no.

What do we have on tap for next week?

- We have this.

(upbeat jazz music) (ominous orchestral music) (screaming) - [Man] This engine's still warm.

- Say, did you see the skid marks out here?

They go at a direct right angle to the direction of travel.

- No digs in the macadam either.

Somebody was hurt.

There's blood all over this thing.

- [Narrator] What is this black menace that kills everything it sees and hears?

(screaming) No human mind could imagine the enormous destructive power of this maddened killing thing.

If you're young people in love, look out!

If you're driving a lonely road, you're as good as dead.

(screaming) (car crashing) (explosion booming) (suspenseful orchestral music) - There's been a lot of livestock missing lately.

That doesn't make headlines, but now it's people.

- [Narrator] Never in the history of the United States, a monster of such size and power and horrifying hatred of man.

(wood thudding) (all screaming) (gun firing) (sighing) - Once again, that looks awful, simply awful.

- You know, maybe a steaming bowl of squirrel chili will make you feel better.

- No, let me call the zoo back and tell them the deal's back on.

- No, boss, no!

- Sorry, El Sapo, you're gonna grow to like the rotten fish, I bet.

So until next time, may all your dreams be nightmares.

(thunder crashing) (upbeat rock music)